


You Can't Save Everyone

by rainydog



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Gen, My First Fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 10:28:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3064436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainydog/pseuds/rainydog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A twist ending to season 2 episode 11. What if Reid wasn't able to save Nathan from his suicide attempt? Oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Can't Save Everyone

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic! I hope you enjoy my new ending, don't forget to comment!  
> Update: Newly revised dialogue and some small elements of the story.

Spencer Reid and Garcia were walking over to her car, ready to hit the town. This was her way of trying to get Reid to forget about all of the things going on that were related to this Nathan kid. It hadn’t taken a lot of convincing to get him out of the office, even though he said he didn’t want to go, she knew he really did want to put this case behind him and get some time to relax a bit. As they walked through the parking lot, Garcia was excited to show Ried her pride and joy, her relatively new car. She was in the middle of explaining how she got her car when Reid’s cell phone went off; she turned to him to see what it was about. She grew concerned when his voice fell and his expression turned dark. 

“What? Really? Okay I’ll be right there.” He said, his voice sounded panicked and his eyes were wide. He hung up and turned quickly to Garcia. “Garcia, you need to drive! Go to the apartment building at the corner of Center and Farm!” He said his voice shaky and he had his head down as we sped through the streets. As they pulled into the parking lot, Reid didn’t wait for the car to stop before he leapt from the car and burst into the building. Garcia ran in after him, still not sure what exactly was going on, she wasn’t even sure if Reid knew what exactly was happening. The two of them sprinted up to the third floor and burst through the unlocked door.

A prostitute was standing near the bed, looking horrified, her eyes looking towards Nathan, who was lying on the floor, his left wrist bleeding. A small, but very sharp razor lay on the floor next to him. Reid rushed forward to Nathan, kneeling beside him, and began to apply pressure to his wound. He turned back to Garcia. “Garcia I need you scarf!” He yelled. Garcia rushed forward, removed her scarf and wrapped it tightly around his cut wrist. He turned to the prostitute, “Call 911!” He called. She quickly typed the number into her phone and her voice sounded as panicked as when she has first called Reid.

“Stop, too late.” Nathan murmured, his breaths were labored, but he still continued to speak in a weakened voice. “Can’t be saved.” He groaned.

“Don’t say that Nathan, you can get help. Stay with me.” Reid begged quietly, he was unsure if Nathan had even heard him, his face was pale from the blood loss. “Where are the paramedics?!” He cried out desperately. Garcia turned to the dirty window and saw flashing lights outside the apartment and hearing the EMTs rushing out and charging into the building.

“They’re here now Reid.” Garcia said, she looked to Nathan, whose eyes were blank, staring up; they were closing as his breath slowed. Reid kept his head down; he kept staring down at the dying boy.

“Nathan, look at me, stay with me.” He said; his voice breaking. The little color that remained in Nathan’s face drained as he took his final, choking breath as the heat drained away from his body. Reid’s face fell and he stared at Nathan’s lifeless body.

“No! No, no.” He said, his voice falling and fading out. The EMTs burst through the doorway and Reid moved aside, everything seemed far too sureal. One of the EMTs held onto Nathan’s uncut wrist.

“No pulse. Get the defibrillator!!” He called, and one of the EMTs rushed forward and handed the paddles to him. “Clear.” He moved his hand back to his wrist, still nothing. “Clear.” He repeated, Reid couldn’t watch any more he rushed from the room and out into the dark street. Garcia came running after him and she pulled her phone out and called Gideon.

“Gideon, you need to get down to the corner of Center and Farm. Now.” She said, trying to sound as serious, and not as frightened as possible. There was a brief moment of silence on the line, until Gideon responded.

“Okay, Garcia. I’ll bring Morgan and Hotchner, we’ll get there as soon as possible.” He said he couldn’t imagine what had happened, he knew that Garcia and Reid left together. He rushed into the office where Morgan and Hotchner were working on the paperwork for the previous case. “Morgan, Hotchner, we need to go.” He said Morgan and Hotchner looked at each other confused.

“Why?” Morgan asked. Gideon took a breath before telling them, “Garcia just called me, I think something happened to Reid.” He said Morgan and Hotchner ran to Gideon’s car to see what was so urgent. Hotchner sat in the passenger seat, please let this be some sort of joke, maybe Garcia is calling us because Reid got a date. He tried to convince himself, but he knew it was no use, something bad must have happened.

“Why do you think Reid is in trouble?” Morgan asked, as he wrung his hands in his lap.

“I saw Garcia and Reid leave together, Garcia was taking him into the town, to make him stop focusing on Nathan.” He said, as he turned on the siren and pushed hard on the gas. As they rounded the corner to the apartment the sound of an ambulance and the flashing lights of the police car, made them all fear for the worst. All three of them rushed out of the car, they saw Reid and Garcia standing outside of the apartment, Reid was staring down at his hands. They were covered in blood, and he was holding Garcia’s scarf in his hands, and Garcia had her hand resting on his shoulder.

“Oh God no.” Morgan said as they saw the immense amount of blood on his hands that led up to his elbows. Gideon got to Reid first, 

“Reid, what happened?” He asked, not being able to take his eyes off of Reid’s eyes staring out emptily.

“Nathan...he killed himself. The prostitute he was with called me when he put my card on the table. I tried to save him, but he lost too much blood.” He said, not looking up from his bloody hands. “He was supposed to go to the mental hospital tomorrow.” He continued, almost in a monotone voice.

“Garcia, go tell the police officer over there exactly what happened.” He said, Garcia nodded and walked over to the police officer who was also speaking with the women that was with Nathan at the time of his suicide. Morgan and Hotchner arrived seconds later; they had been stopped by some of the policemen, but pushed their way through.

“Gideon what happened?” Morgan asked, knowing Reid wouldn’t want to be the one to answer. Gideon signals for Morgan and Hotchner to come with him as he led them out of Reid’s earshot.

“Nathan, the boy who came to Reid just killed himself.” He said, Morgan and Hotchner glanced down. “He and Garcia are talking with the paramedics. You two stay here, talk to with the women he was with. He told them, Morgan was about to object, but Hotchner told him it’d best if Gideon handled it.

Reid was moving the scarf nervously between his hands. “Reid I need to talk to you.” He said. Reid glanced up, he looked broken and tired, Gideon had never seen Reid look this way. “This was my fault, I should have known something like this was going to happen.” Reid said staring at Gideon.

“This wasn’t your fault, you can’t think that way. There is no way any of us could have prevented this.” He said, but he knew it would take Reid awhile to understand this.

“It doesn’t feel that way.” He said, looking off to the side where the EMTs were taking Nathan’s body from the apartment.

“Reid, I want you to come with me.” Gideon said, Reid trusted that Gideon would have good advice for him, he helped him over the nightmares. The two of them walked into the diner down the street, and Gideon told Reid to go to the bathroom and wash the blood off of his hands and to remove his blood-stained jacket. When Reid walked in, he sat in the booth, facing Gideon who said to him, “You know you did all you could for that boy.” Gideon knew that what he said was true, but he couldn’t help but feel it was something to cliche.

“But what if-” Reid started, but he was cut off by Gideon.

“You can’t dwell on the ‘what ifs’ Reid, they’ll drive you crazy, I’ve seen too many good agents go down because they spent too much time on the ‘what ifs,’ I don’t want that to happen to you.” He said, Reid took a breath before he continued.

“I should have done something, any good psychologist would have seen that.” He said, Gideon sighed, “Reid you know that you're a good doctor, you can’t save everyone.” He told him, “As long as you keep doing what you’re doing Dr. Reid, you will be just fine. Don’t forget you have all of us to rely on.” He said, and Reid took this to heart, even though he still had an overwhelming feeling of guilt, the team would always be there for him.  
“I should get you back to the paramedics, they’ll want a statement.” Gideon told him, Reid nods and the two of exit the diner, going back into the dark, rainy night. Gideon’s advice circled around in Reid’s head, you can’t save everyone, Reid would understand, one day.


End file.
